Dear Diary
by licilovesanime
Summary: Nazz needed an outlet. The closes thing was a notebook and pen. Read from Nazz's viewpoint in this story about her life watching as Kevin feel for the dork. Rated M(16 ) for the context in the story.
1. Chapter 1

**THIS STORY IS SHORT DIARY ENTRIES AND IT IS KEVEDD IT'S JUST TOLD IN THE VIEW POINT OF NAZZ.**

* * *

Friday

Sep. 14 2012

6:20pm

So I was never the type to keep one of these "diary" things. It just wasn't my field. Well not until today. The only reason I decided to do this was because I didn't have someone to talk to about this. I felt as if I needed to get this out of my system. So here I go.

I noticed it all. Since the beginning of our freshman school year. We're only about two weeks in but I noticed. It's there. It's in the way he talks to him, the look he gives him. Kevin likes Double D. Even Nathan, our best friend, notices it. He's actually been trying to get the two together, calling them "Kevedd". But not me. I was just neutral. I'm actually pretending not to know. Why? Because it hurts. Even if Kevin himself didn't want to admit I knew his like was strong and just knowing that it torn me apart. Shocking right? That me, Nazz Van Bartonschmeer, had a secret crush on Kevin Barr. I don't know how it happened but it did.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Tuesday**_

 _ **Sep. 18 2012**_

 _ **7:10pm**_

 _I tried so hard not to ruin the friendship but I did. I didn't do anything bad. I simply asked him out. But I used his weakness. I picked a time that was confusing to him. I picked a time when he was trying to deny that he liked Double D. I'm evil. I'm selfish. When did I become this way? I clung on to him. I even threw glaring eyes or scoffs at the poor unknowing genius! Knowing Edd he probably mark that off as me having a bad day. When did I become so... so..._ _ **so girly**_ _? I even joined the cheerleading team! Love and jealousy can do some horrendous things to girls._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Friday**_

 _ **Oct. 12 2012**_

 _ **9:35pm**_

 _We had our Homecoming game today. We won of course. I went over to congratulate Kevin but_ _ **he**_ _was already there. I noticed the slight blush on_ _ **my**_ _boyfriend's cheeks and the shy neck grab immediately. Those were things he didn't do around me. We didn't even kiss. So overwhelmed with greed and jealousy, I marched by his side. Well more like swayed to show I can be cute too. Edd was the first to notice me giving me a hi. I sort of ignored him by giving him a fake smile then turning to Kevin. I wanted him to see me the way he saw Double D. I whispered in his ear and his eyes lit up. Let me tell you this. Worst. Mistake. EVER._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Friday**_

 _ **Oct. 12 2012**_

 _ **12:20pm**_

 _Ending up at home by myself was how that ended. Not only by myself but I was crying. Can you guess why? First two guesses don't count... If you guessed that Kevin wasn't able to get "hyped" with me then you're right. And to put the cherry on top, at the mention of the nerd, it sprung. After that I threw on my clothes and ran out his house and back to mines. My parents asked where I was and I told them the truth. I was at Kevin, having the worst heartbreak of my life... No I didn't. I couldn't. The words were stuck so I just ran up to my room and locked myself in for the whole weekend._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Monday**_

 _ **Oct. 25 2012**_

 _ **5:20pm**_

 _School was shit._ _ **I**_ _was shit. Everything was_ _ **shit**_ _. At first it was normal when I walked in. Then I walked passed him. For a moment we made eyes contact, then I kept going on. One of his guys made a joke about me being mad. Que in Kevin yelling chill man then storming off. Maybe I was mad. But not at him. More at myself for setting my own self up for this agonizing pain. I didn't talk to him the whole weekend nor today so I didn't even know if we had officially broken up that day. Honestly, I didn't want to know._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Friday**_

 _ **Oct. 29 2012**_

 _ **Lunch**_

 _... I ended up talking to him. He cornered me at lunch. His face was firm, but his eyes were soft. I sighed and let him bring me to our favorite spot. He told me he was confused. He didn't know what to do. He never liked Double D until he saw him this year. I stopped him there. 'I know... I knew...' I told him. He looked at me confused and I told him that I noticed the way he looked at him and how he'd blush or how he'd been shy around him. How it was never that way around me. I told him I saw all of it. I_ _ **didn't**_ _tell him that I didn't accept it. Why would I because after I said that I saw he immediately said that's a relief and asked if we could still be friends. Meaning that we're over. A part of me broke inside but I didn't show it. I just smiled and nodded._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Friday**_

 _ **Nov. 6 2012**_

 _ **3:45pm**_

 _Everyone had decided to meet up for a big hangout since we got out of school early. Sounds fun right? Well it wasn't. I had to sit and watch as everything went on around me. Kevin flirting, ever so slightly, with Edd and Nat giving him a push every minute. I tried to get them out of my sights but looks like the world wasn't on my side. Why? Because the dork kept giggling at everything Kevin and Nat did so naturally my eyes followed the noise. Anger gnawed at me. I had to leave. I_ _ **wanted**_ _to leave. I grabbed my phone and announced that I was leaving. Everyone bidded me goodbye but one person who instead asked why. Can you guess who it was? You probably said Kevin, right? I wished but no, it was a gaped nerd instead. I collected myself then turned to smile at him saying i'll be fine and I'm okay, even though I wasn't_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Saturday**_

 _ **Nov. 7 2012**_

 _ **2:05pm**_

 _I got a text from Nathan saying that he wanted to talk to me this morning. About what, I had no idea, but I went anyway. And honestly, I regret it. The thing he wanted to talk to me about was his plan. A plan to get my former boyfriend with his current crush. Not the ideal thing to do, especially if you still had feelings for the person but without hearing my answer, Nat went on to tell me his plan. After he finished I pretended I wasn't feeling well, although I really was feeling sick about his plan. I didn't want to be a part of it but I also didn't want to admit it. So I told him to call up Rave and see if he wanted in on it while I go home and get some rest. He told me okay then let me leave. The world can be so cruel._


End file.
